Vol State Glossary

A couple of years ago I was asked if I could produce a glossary of Vol State language for a group on Facebook. Vol State is growing in popularity and visibility each year, and there are always new, curious ultrarunners and fans who are a bit baffled by some of the colorful (and often eccentric) terms that have evolved around the event over the years. My little glossary has been well-received by many of them, and I decided to get it set up a little better for future years here.

I'm not an 'authority' on the LAVS, having showed up kind of in the middle of the story, first as a fan starting in about 2010, and then as a runner (and finisher - yay!) in 2014. I earnestly solicit input from any other Vol Staters out there who want to add or correct something, and I'm indebted to several for improvements that are already here. I consider this a group project! Also, if you are new to the race you are probably in the best position to identify terms I've missed here. Please comment with any questions on terminology you have that were not answered here and I will add them.

The terms are given in an order that somewhat corresponds to the order in which they might appear in social media commentary each year as the race unfolds.

"Vol State"

Let's start, I guess, with the name of the race:

"Vol State." Some may not recognize this as local shorthand for "The Volunteer State" - nickname of the great state of Tennessee, across which the majority of the race's 314-mile course wanders.

"LAVS"

An acronym for the full official name of the race: "The Last Annual Vol State Road Race." Why isn't the acronym TLAVSRR? Shut up!

"What's up with 'Last Annual?' Is this really the last one?" Maybe. There's no way to really know until there's a next one, is there? This gives you a little insight into the twisted mind of the man - Laz - the creative evil genius behind the LAVS. Stories have it that back when he started the race a lot of new ultras were popping up named "First Annual" something-or-other. Laz thought that seemed kind of presumptuous on their part, given humanity's demonstrated track record at predicting the future, so his new race would buck the trend - and "Last Annual" it has been ever since. Also, in the early days the course and distance changed year-to-year - so each year actually was the last running of that particular version of the race.

"Laz"

Laz (l) and me when he passed through central NY on his 2018 'Lazcon'

Nickname for Lazarus Lake - who may or may not ever have actually existed as a real person. Oh, the guy who RDs the Vol State (and the Barkley) surely exists, but "Lazarus Lake" is just the pseudonym he picked back when he first got on ta interwebz and thought surely no one would use their actual name on such a crazy, privacy-invading monstrosity as that! Now more people may know him as Laz than know him by his given name - which I will not document here, in deference to his original intent. Most people already know it though.

"The Ferry"

Your luxury liner to adventure! Dorena-Hickman ferry.

The clear line of demarcation between those who know and those who do not know. The ferry in question is the first ferry of the day leaving Hickman Kentucky at 7:30 AM on the Thursday morning on which the LAVS begins. All registered runners must board the ferry for the short ride across the Mississippi river to Dorena Landing, Missouri. There the runners disembark briefly, hear Laz's final words of wisdom and, when the cigarette is lit, re-board for the boat's return crossing to Hickman. ('Pro'-tip: if you stick your arm out over the bow rail, you can legitimately claim that you at one point led the race.)

"Vol Stater"

Two Vol Staters I happen to know

Anyone who has actually "ridden the ferry." The year my daughter and I ran we were told, "If you step on that ferry, you're family." Our experience bore that out, and I personally feel that way about everyone who rides each year - no matter that many I have never met. I imagine there could be some disagreement here, in that some may consider that only those who have finished may properly be referred to as "Vol Staters" but I think anyone who has been on those roads, even if they were beaten by them, "knows" (see "The Ferry"). IMO, the Vol State finisher's jacket is distinction enough for those who have succeeded (see photo for a look at the jacket).

"Crewed/screwed"

Crewed runner (l) and screwed runner (r).
(Photo credit - Bill Baker)

The race has two divisions, unofficially established by the runners themselves. Crewed runners have a personal support crew and vehicle and may receive aid from their crew throughout the race. Beginning in 2017, crewed runners could NOT be driven anywhere by their crew (e.g. to restaurants or motels) even if they return to the point at which they left the course to continue (which had been an acceptable practice prior to then). Nevertheless, the ready access to supplies of any kind without the need to carry them and to an air conditioned place to rest is a tremendous advantage the crewed runner enjoys.

Uncrewed runners (referred to as "screwed") must complete the race using only the things they carried with them onto the ferry and anything they can buy, beg or borrow along the way. They may not accept aid from anyone associated with the race except for other screwed runners who have traveled to the point where aid is rendered on foot from the ferry. They may not enter or ride in a vehicle unless ordered to do so by law enforcement. They can, however, accept any other assistance offered by road angels.

An interesting bit of history: the term 'screwed' actually originated in an auto-correct error! Someone posting in the Vol State email listserv attempted to refer to the unsupported runners as "uncrewed." Many spell checkers balk at that and this poster's helpfully replaced it with "unscrewed." The community found that pretty amusing and some adopted it as a moniker for the unsupported runners - thinking you had to be a little 'unscrewed' (i.e. have a few screws loose) to want to put yourself into that position. Others suggested that what the unscrewed runners really were was "screwed" and for a while the two terms competed on the forum. Eventually though a majority settled on screwed and unscrewed faded away.

"The Last Supper"

The Last Supper, 2018

The pre-race dinner, Wednesday night before the race starts. The runners and the race staff gather at Ryan's steakhouse, a buffet-style restaurant in Union City, TN. Union City is about eighteen miles from the start of the race, but is the nearest town with sufficient hotel accommodations for the runners, crews and race staff.

"The Next-to-last Supper"

The night before the last supper (Tuesday night before the race) screwed runners gather in Kimball, TN (way over on the other side of the state from Union City) the town with hotels nearest the finish. There they enjoy a meal together at the Kimball China Buffet. In the morning they will drive up to Castlerock Ranch, where they will board buses that will carry them all the way up the course in reverse to Union City in time for The Last Supper. The dinner in Kimball has become known as "The Next-to-last Supper."

"The Overlook"

A runner photo taken at the overlook.
A little bit of awesome here: Sal Coll (l), Sue Scholl (m) and Joe Fejes (r).
(Photo credit - Carl Laniak)

There are two semi-formal checkpoints where Laz and cohorts have traditionally stopped to observe the runners pass.  Both are early in the race, before the field has strung out so far that someone would have to sit for hours (or days) to see them all at the same spot. The overlook is the first of these, at the top of the climb up from the Mississippi river bank in Hickman, KY, perhaps two miles from the ferry landing. There's a little gazebo there with a view out over the river, and in years past photos of all the smiling optimistic runners have been taken from there and shared with the world - so that we can all laugh at them later when we see photos of them, e.g. napping on concrete.

"Stinky Bridge"

Carl greets runner Rich Limacher in the shade under Stinky Bridge
in 2014 while Laz records the time.

The second semi-formal checkpoint, at about mile twenty, just leaving Union City - where a bridge for the route 22 on-ramp crosses over the course and affords shade for Laz to sit in relative comfort while the now-somewhat-less-optimistic runners pass by again. In years past splits have been taken and reported from there. So why 'stinky' bridge? There is a Tyson food processing plant nearby that often emits some less-than-pleasant aromas while they wait. Runners who have only just begun to appreciate what a mess they let Laz sucker them into take some pleasure in that.

"Road Angel"

Road Angel sign - 2017
(Photo credit - Jan Redmond Walker)

Local Tennesseans who have become aware of the passing Vol Staters and taken it upon themselves to offer support in the form of food, water and other beverages, and resting places. In recent years this has become a much more prominent feature of the race, as the number of Vol Staters has increased to the point that many more locals are aware of what is happening. Several towns along the way now set up 'welcome centers' (which ultrarunners would call aid stations) and treat the Vol Staters like conquering heroes!

"Oprah"

Who's that at the back of the pack?

For years, Mike Dobies has produced the spreadsheet and Google map on which runner positions are plotted after each check-in. His map also showed a figure near the back of the pack moving at exactly cut-off pace (31.4 miles per day). Mike chose an image of the Grim Reaper for that figure. Laz (whose unique way of thinking I've already mentioned) re-cast the Grim Reaper one year as "Oprah" (yes, that Oprah). Paraphrasing his much better explanation, Oprah represents the 'real' world - the world of celebrity, politics, and workaday life - that the Vol Staters have left behind for a much simpler life of movement on foot and seeking the bare essentials of survival. Oprah wants them back, though, and she pursues them relentlessly down the course. Any who fall behind her risk being pulled from the race and dragged back to that other life against their will!

"The Meat Wagon" - aka "The Seat of Shame"

That's Jan. She's as likely to tell you to "suck it up" as she is to let you in.

The race provides the Vol Staters with four things: 1) a ride from the finish, where the screwed runners leave their vehicles, to the start; 2) hotel accommodations the night before the start; 3) tracking, via every-twelve-hour check-ins; and 4) a bail-out option. The latter is the opportunity to quit the race by calling for pick up and transportation back to the finish. The large van used for this purpose is known as The Meat Wagon, and the return trip is referred to as riding in The Seat of Shame.

"The Bench of Despair"

(Photo credit - Glenn Dell Kasper)

A red wooden bench in front of the Glendale Market, located at about mile 185 of the course. This distance is significant, in that the runners have come so far, and endured so much - but the end is still so far away. Many have experienced a crisis point there, and many have dropped at that spot. Those who work past the Bench of Despair frequently go on to finish. The Glendale Market has a long history of supporting the race, and when they learned what the runners had taken to calling their bench they embraced the idea whole-hog and actually stenciled the name on it. They leave a Sharpie out there so the runners can sign their names on the bench each year.

"The Blue Bridge"

A sight for sore feet!

About mile 303, in South Pittsburg, TN - the second crossing of the Tennessee River. A large, blue-painted, steel girder bridge that's become another race icon (featured on the patch the runners received in 2014). Race management likes to keep track of who is across the Blue Bridge as they manage their own trips between The Rock and amenities in Kimball - as they try to keep themselves as cared for as possible while being present at The Rock for every finisher.

"The Rock"

The place every Vol Stater hopes to reach - a particular small spot on the edge of a cliff on the grounds of Castle Rock Ranch in northwestern Georgia - the finish, 314 miles from Dorena Landing, Missouri. The pictures from The Rock each year tell a compelling story, as some of the most bedraggled-looking, wasted human beings you will ever see beam with emotions that most ultrarunners will sort of recognize but only Vol State finishers really understand. It was a haunting, rapturous look on one finisher's clearly exhausted face that finally tipped me over the edge to do the race.

"King of the Road"

(Photo credit - Carl Laniak)

The winner.

Each year, the winner of the race is officially recognized as "King of the Road" by a proclamation of the Tennessee state legislature. So far, even female winners have elected to claim the title "King" (even after being offered "Queen" as an alternative).